it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize