I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
