i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
