I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
