high people should be assigned attendants
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
