never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
