i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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