Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
