so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
