fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize