WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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