So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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