those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
