Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
