we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize