he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Alive.
So much puke
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
