I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize