I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize