First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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