Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
