I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize