I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
