I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
