So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
