i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
