i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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