im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
