First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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