I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you will always have a special place in my vag
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
