I hate your face
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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