I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
