i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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