Pants 0. Shit 1.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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