ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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