i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
