it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Found the puke drawer
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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