im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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