38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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