Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The power of my boobs compel you
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
