Four minutes until I can fart!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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