Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
