3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
