"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
