Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
