If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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