Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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