She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
