she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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