I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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