Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
