I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
