At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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