where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
