Non-Jews are for practice
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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