Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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