High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
