I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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