Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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