ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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