Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize