I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
