remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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