I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize