I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
