Your mouth is God's brothel.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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