i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
