you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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