Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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