I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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