Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
