my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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