i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
