Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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