It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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