the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
