I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize