pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
