he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
