I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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